ON THE LIGHTER SIDE
Share your jokes but keep 'em clean! Forward them to President@Erie County Buckeyes.com
Script Ohio Snowblower!
You know you are from Columbus (or at least Ohio ) when....
You have been to Cedar Point, every summer, of your entire life. Even if you moved away from Ohio .The fact that the German Village Oktoberfest is in September (and not in German Village ) seems perfectly normal.
You beam with pride that we're the hometown of Wendy's, White Castle, Rax Roast Beef, Bob Evans & Donato's. But you wonder why we're the 20th fattest city in America.
You remember very vividly City Center & Northland.
You know ho w to pronounce ' Scioto ' and 'Olentangy'.
You see nothing unusual about a street being called East North Broadway.
You live in the suburbs but your backyard was actually a cornfield last year. That complex on the corner, with the CVS, Frisch's, Blockbuster's and Kroger, that was a cornfield last year, too!
As you lament the loss of all those cornfields, you see the infinite wisdom of Dublin City Council, who spent over $60,000 on a field of 10' concrete corn ears.
You don't even notice new buildings being built because a new building goes up every single day.
You know all the 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.
You drive 3 hours to see Red White & Boom for 15 minutes, and 4 hours back. But you live 10 minutes away.
You know what a real buckeye is, and have a recipe for candy ones.
You know screaming O-H anytime, anywhere, will get a reply from a stranger saying I-O!
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
If you see a Michigan (Or Florida ) license plate, you automatically ride their ass.
You consider going to the zoo in winter VERY normal.
You know NEVER to go to the fair on the first day. ONLY the last day!
You know that the Arena District is nice, Campus is NOT, Brewery is Okay, and short north is *~*FABBBBOULOUS! *~*
You have a buckeye necklace.
You know someone who still has a perm.
You think the outside elevator downtown is SWEET, but don't have the nerve to go on it.
You are proud to say OSU invented Corn Hole
You refuse to believe The Palace Theater ISN'T Haunted, because you know it is.
You have gone to see Nutcracker when it plays every year.. even if you are a boy!
Your life goal is to move from Ohio ... but never want to leave Columbus !
You think 45 degree weather is PERFECT for washing your car!
You know every exit on 270 & 70.. but get lost on 71. You know 315 is very short, and wonder where 670 stops/starts.
You call it POP. Soda is for weirdo's.
You hate explaining to people who live out of state that Lake Erie actually has a beach! And sand! And waves! And 7 Islands !!!!! And is like the size of Connecticut !!!!!
You know/met a dog named Buckeye, Brutus or Scarlet.
You LOVE driving down Riverside Drive in the summer time!
You've said the following:
'You know who Les Wexner is? The owner of.. everything. He lives like... three streets away!!'
You know how to manage cross lane traffic (Getting into the same lane on the freeway where people are coming off a freeway trying to get where you are... Only Ohio !)
You get chills when you hear 'Carmen Ohio'
You know Wyandot Lake is NOT a body of water, and Mad River Mountain is not really a mountain.
You say Kroger's. It's really Kroger.
You remember Big Bear, but now it's gone!
You can see a building downtown, but you can't get to it. Due to 500 million one way streets!
Monday - 30 degrees, Tuesday - 70 degrees, Wednesday - 45 and humid, Thursday - -10 wind-chill and Friday 80 degrees and sunny is normal for you.
One out of every 5 cars has something BUCKEYE on it.
You remember Flippo.
You leave the infinitive out of sentences: as in 'This needs ironed' or 'The lawn needs mowed.'
SOMETIMES.. you don't pronounce certain letters in words.
(The following is NOT in Ebonics...)
- ASK ' Did you 'as' him about that?
- Authorized - Did you get that statement 'authrized'
- Vehicles - Did you pick out 'vecals' to look at?
You actually say PROLLY, in real speaking, and know exactly what it means.
You know businesses close on Ohio State Football game day.
You know the best spots to see the Skyline (670 E near 315 N & 315 S)
You know you can ONLY find California Pizza Kitchens in malls.
You really want to meet Brutus. In costume.
You've seen Santa Radar on WBNS
You've experienced CRAZY weather. Like huge golf ball sized hail in the same day that its sunny, or snowy in the same day it rains, or sunny but then a tornado, or freezing fog but then rain but then sunny.
You know what the split is and what times to stay away from it.
You see nothing funny/unusual about:
Gay St .
You think Michigan & Florida are almost on the same level, and by level I mean they suck eggs.
You wonder when COLUMBUS is going to get its own show. HELLO? Cleveland had Drew Carey, Cinci has WKRP or something in the 1980's, Sandusky had Tommy Boy... HELLO? WE ARE THE CAPITAL!
You know all the haunted places in Columbus. ( Mirror Lake , OSU Library, Palace Theater, etc etc)
You go out of state and people say 'You're from Ohio ? So you live on a farm?' and you look confused and say 'FARM? I've never even seen a cow.'
If people think taxis, sky rises, restaurants, celebs and nightlife = farm? So be it!
You've played on Tuttle Crossing Mall's 'BREAKFAST' when you were a child.
You remember the Morning Zoo song about Ben Gelber!
You feel like your going to punch a baby if you hear 'Commit to be fit!' once more..
You know that Jack Hanna loves us the most.
You know what 'The Hospital Curve' is
You know Cow town has only one cow, and it's made of butter.
You thought Alum Creek was the beach when you were little.
Every occasion calls for illegal firecrackers.
You think the standard protocol for a tornado warning is to grab lawn chairs and head for the front porch.
You know we have the most gorgeous theater ever, and that it doesn't have enough restrooms.
The sky ride at the fair scares you to death, but you still go on it every year.
You drive down 670 with your windows open to smell the fresh bread from the Wonder bread Factory.
You think there's nothing strange about the city of Westerville being Northeast of Columbus . ;
You think that ' Columbus ' always needs to be followed by ' Ohio '.
G O B U C K S !
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